Ok, so I'm not amused.

I don't know if this is the person I'm becoming, but I've actually been honest-to-God mad twice in the past month. This is a problem, especially for someone who has worked for ages to be calm and collected.

The latest thing is with the bank. I have a dormant account that I've been keeping open so that when I get a job, I can put money in it. Well, all of a sudden, they started charging a fee, which made me overdraft, and now I owe 97 bucks. Which I don't have. Which, frankly, I don't owe, because if I was told about the fee, I would have just closed the damned account. The branch manager was of no help, saying that they can't do anything about it because it was charged off. Not to mention, I've already been reported to the checking account bureau, which means I can't get another checking account. Lovely. I swear they could do something about it, they just won't because the account wasn't opened in CT.

I'm not about to pay almost a hundred dollars of something that I was never informed of. So, I'm fucking screwed. And this is not helping the bad mood that's creeping up on me.

And it doesn't help that I'm looking up and seeing a girl who looks like minkhollow and another girl who looks like one of our OCs. And they're a couple. WTF library.

So. I have a bad habit of sitting outside of Barnes and Noble when it's not too cold and leeching internets. This time, I almost think I shouldn't've. First, people've been oddly glaring at me the entire time I've been here. Second, I almost got run over by a news van. It would seem that Twilight comes out tonight at midnight, and the news is here to cover it.

Now, that was nervous-making enough, however, the guy who's driving the news van is hilarious, and we've been snarking at each other for the past few minutes.

I guess it's not all -that- bad. I am getting out of here before the Twidiots (Hey, I made a word!) come, though.

So, I know you all are getting tired of my book-blog talking.

That's why I made a feed! americanbigread. If you're interested, please go join that feed! It'll update my posts, and then I don't have to keep putting links here. I will link to something if I think it's particularly interesting, but if you're just wanting to read it daily, go join the feed!

*hugs*

Today has been a day of reading massively.

Eventually, I'll have a few off-blog comments about Anna Karenina (Things that are a bit too controversial for that particular place), but for now, I leave you with my thoughts on the first part of the book.

That's it. Really.

FIRST OFFICIAL BOOKREAD POST!

Alright, so I'm excited about this -now-,but ask me in about four months when I'm tired of Important Historical Books and I've read up all of the interesting ones.

I'm determined, just like Julie, to actually finish something for once, not to mention expanding my mind by reading and finishing these books. Yes, there's some that I'm going to hate, but I'm sure I'll find some new friends among them.

Please join me in this! I'll be putting up links every so often, probably daily at first until you get tired of them. And, well, if you like what I do, tell your friends. I'd love to have readers from all over.

Things that Quinn should not do:

~Laugh hysterically in church about a mention of the ruins of Coventry Cathedral, and proceed to turn red when someone asks me what's so funny.

~Oversing just because the anthem's right smack in my range and from the Eighteenth Century. (BUT DUDE. ANTHEM.)

~Sneeze so loudly before the service that the organist misses a beat.

~Write Potterverse OC fanfic on the back of a hymn (It is Well With My Soul) and say it's nothing important.

~Avoid calling parents, because they want to show up for Thanksgiving and have a problem taking no for an answer.

~Avoid Best Buy even though they're being assholes.

Things Quinn should do:

~Finally set up the '100 Books' blog and pray for readers. DONE! Go LOOK! I'll make links when I update over there, though.

~Get hogswatchfic open again, and pray for sign-ups.

~Finish the Descent Into Hell plot in outsideinn, so Tony and Pepper can be normal again.

~Start the Innflu plot.

~Put out more job applications.

~Stop being panicky and emo.

Yeah, that's about it.

Oh, btw. Can anyone think up a better tag for my books project than 'lenny bruce langston hughes'? I admit it kinda sucks and I'm at a loss for ideas.

So. I'm still working on the '100 books in a year' blog. I'm working on getting it set up and deciding exactly when I'm going to start it. Yes, I'm going to do it. I just have to get some more details down.

As to everything else, I'm working on a b-day/Hogswatch list. Damn having a birthday right near Hogswatch. The interview went well, I don't know if I got it or not. I was... a bit flat in the interview. But then again, it seems like the position I was being interviewed for is the sort of position where they usually put the people who aren't altogether there. *le sigh* What does that say about me that those are the sort of positions I'm being interviewed for?

And, well, I GOT A CAMERA. I'm working on a series of gravestone icons from the eighteenth-century cemetery in town. Thank you, people I met in Maine.

ETA: Bah. LJ runs out soon. *grump* I really hope I get that job.

I'm tired of dealing with people.

... and just as I wrote that, things changed. I have a job interview. It's not exactly the perfect one that I wanted, but if I get something, then I can move up in the world. (AND I CAN WEAR SKIRTS TO WORK.) It's Whole Foods. They're not about to tell me that I can't wear what I'm comfortable in because, well, I saw a manager in jeans once at that exact store.

... well, maybe this week isn't a total wash.

People, if you feel like it, write me strange!fic. Or tell me a joke. Or something. It's... strange in my head right now.

So. I've been trying for quite a while to think up something that I can do, something that is uniquely me, and as usual, what I come up with is a take-off on what someone else did.

In the movie Julie and Julia, a woman vows to cook through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year and blog about it. Well, I'm broke, and I can't cook, but I, tonight, realized what I -can- do.

Starting soon, (Yes, I know I need a starting date, but I need to set up a separate blog for it) I am going to be tackling the The BBC's Big Read and blogging about it.

Like Julie in the movie, I need something that I can hang onto. I need something that I am actually committed to and something that I'll keep working on no matter what.

When I have more details, I'll give them out here, but I ask one thing. When it starts, please tell people about my little project. I won't necissarily be nice, but I will be honest.

So, off I go into the land of blogging. Hopefully I won't get lost.

I promised a more coherent post, but at the moment, I can't even offer that. I'm still numb. I'm still pissed, and I still can't really process everything that happened, and everything that I've learned.

All I can say now is that I am by no means sorry that I went, and this is not the last the world has heard from me on this issue.

In other news, I'm confused and trying to figure out a few things. No, whoever you are, you really can't help. It's something I need, for once, to figure out on my own. I just hope that I don't make the wrong desicion.

Also, someone I know has swine flu, and someone else I know was in the shooting in Texas.

THIS WEEK YOU ARE SO FRELLING FIRED.

Goddess, preserve all of my loved ones, I'm afraid they need it.

Fuck.

Just... fuck.

I'll be more positive tomorrow, but.... fuck.

So. I'm not going to be around until about next Thursday. (Yeah, yeah, I know, I haven't really been around as it is.) I'm going up to Maine, to help protect equality and the political process.

First: HOLY CRAP, QUINN'S BEING POLITICAL AGAIN, WATCH OUT, WORLD.

Second: I'm riding up there with people from a PAC in DC. Holy crap, there might be some connections in this. I'm hoping that if I say I'm looking to work in DC, they might be able to point me towards some people.

Third: It's something to do. Seriously, I can't emphasize this enough. I'm actually going to make a difference somewhere, if for a very few days.

So, go me, go politics in action, and go equality. *dances*

I have a strange desire to make a mood theme where the 'mood' words are not your typical 'crappy' 'sick' 'happy', but instead are characters from various fandoms. For example, if I'm feeling mean and deviant, my mood would be 'Peter Wiggin'.

... I might have to do this.

Crappy emotional day. Don't ask. It's just a thing.

Argh.

Blasted girlybits have been, as usual non-functional and annoying for about the past week. I really want to just remove them with a rusty spork. Because, seriously... ( Cut for said girlybits issues )

The long and the short of it is, guys, men, boys, you don't know how damned good you have it.

Hey, guys?

Have any of you seen me interact with kids and wouldn't mind serving as a reference for a babysitting job?

I have a chance to get some money this weekend babysitting a six-month-old, and her mother (because of a paranoid grandmother, I guess) wants references. Now, I've babysat before. I've done it quite a few times, but that was in Omaha and at Wheaton. I didn't keep the names of people I babysat for (I didn't think I needed it, and frankly, at Wheaton, I was just trying to make some extra cash, and didn't even think to keep the people's names, even the ones I worked with for months running.) so I'm kinda up a creek.

She'll accept people I've known for a while, but it would help if it was people who've seen me with kids.

So, yeah. I kinda need this by about ten tonight, so if you can, either call me or post back here. Thanks.

*flaaaaaaails*

Have you ever had a time where your mind and your heart are fighting? Yeah, that's where I am right now.

I don't really know if I want to get into it, but if you really care, I might talk it out with you.

Let's just say that certain obstacles just seem too insurmountable, and I'm fighting myself not to just cut and run. I also feel like a hypocrite because what I'm currently doing is not what I'd tell someone else to do. In fact, I'd probably be yelling at someone if they were doing what I'm doing.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of fighting myself and only keeping it all up because of others. For once in my life, I would really really really like to actually figure out what I want instead of trying to go by what others want of me, or what I think I should be.

Is that really so bad?

So. My brain has been doing strange things lately, and I seem to be making a filk musical based on the Maurauders from HP.

Some of my songs are (in no particular order):

What is this Feeling (Wicked) - Sirius (Galinda) and James (Elphaba)
Infected (Repo, the Genetic Opera) - Remus (Shilo)
Man's Gotta Do (Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog) - Snape (Billy), James (Captain Hammer), Lily (Penny)
For Good (Wicked) - Sirius and James again.
Epiphany (Bare) - Sirius (Peter), but heavily edited
Like Father, Like Son (Aida) - Sirius (Radames) and Walburga (Zozer) (Like Mother, Like Son, really.)
Everyone's a Little Bit Racist (Avenue Q) - Peter (Princeton) Lily (Kate Monster), Sirius (Gary Coleman), James (Brian), Remus (Christmas Eve) (This one needs some major work, but it'll be hilarious.)
You and I (Bare) - Sirius (Jason), Remus (Peter) (This one I'm not so sure about, honestly. It's fun, and there needs to be a Sirius/Remus song, but... yeah.)
Seventeen (Repo the Genetic Opera) - Regulus (Shilo) (This is mostly my personal joke, but it makes me laugh.)

And then, there are the other songs (Mostly Repo) that my brain is amused by, but don't fit into this:
Chase The Morning (Repo the Genetic Opera) - Sirius (Blind Mag), and Harry (Shilo)
Let The Monster Rise (Repo the Genetic Opera) - Remus (Nathan), and Sirius (Shilo) (This would be after the prank, when Remus is pissed at Sirius.)
Night Surgeon (Repo the Genetic Opera) - Peter (Nathan/Repo Man), Voldemort (Rotti), Bellatrix (Luigi), Lucius (Pavi), and the Death Eaters (Genterns) (Remember what you did to Lily, remember what you did to James.)
Slipping (Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog) - Voldemort (Dr. Horrible)

If you guys can think of any other songs from musicals (Or musical movies, really) that might work, pass them along!

I'm tired of people, I've realized over the past few days.

No, let me rephrase that. I'm tired of the internet.

Let me explain. I used to be a writer. I used to love writing stories, coming up with intricate plots, and playing them out, as well as working out backstories and possible futures. I have more universes in my head than most published authors.

However, I've realized over the past few days that no one cares. I can come up with scads of things, which people say they like when I try to explain it to them, but no one ever reads it. No one cares what I write and what I do.

And let me tell you, as someone who has always wanted to change the world, that kriffing hurts.

The reason that I'm ignored, though, is almost more stupid than my attempts at prose. I say too much in my writing, both my fiction and my non-fiction. I try to write about important issues in a light-hearted manner, and that's not good enough for modern society. It all has to be either quite weighty and non-reachable or light fluff, not really saying anything to anyone.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm some sort of lesser human because I actually prefer my readings or writings to have some sort of plot rather than just 'oooh, these characters are pretty together' or 'let me show you my epic fic'. I don't like looking at a fic exchange where I've tried twice but both times have been given something I either specifically said I wouldn't write or can't write due to the prompt being way too specific. I don't like a writing challenge where the word count seems more important than the actual content of the writing. There's plenty of shit for writing out there. How about encouraging actual content?

So, fine. Do Nano, do yuletide, just don't expect me to. I'm not a writer anymore. Maybe one of these days I'll figure out what the hell I am instead.

P.S. Please don't flame me. I'm having a very Dark Empath day. I really don't want to push anyone's buttons, but I can't promise I won't.

Self, you know that you're not thinking when you want to force the Iron Man crew to shadowcast "Man's Gotta Do" in the Inn.

..... Damnit, I really need to do the demon karaeoke machine. I have too many ideas.

I stopped the van! The remote control's in my program!

It works too well. Other than Pepper's not a damsel in distress.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeme.

Name me a character A and a character B (preferably from the same series, book, movie.... etc, preferably from a series I'm familiar with) and I will write a note/letter/e-mail/restraining order, written from A to B.

Doing well, actually. Job hunting sucks, but since when is it fun?

Bare fans? Tell me to get the vision of Draco Malfoy as Lucas out of my head.